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Monday, April 18, 2016

America - What happened to Common Courtesy?


I hate to keep picking on my fellow Americans, but I have to. Really, I love this land for its potential. We have been great and we can do it again but, first, we have to learn some basic courtesy.

I am aghast (I love that word) at the way I see folks behaving in stores. The customers are generally not too bad, but the help do not seem to realize that they are working. As a shopper, all I want is moderately friendly service. I really do not want to listen to service people discussing their personal life with other workers 3 aisles over,  especially when a good deal of that discussion is carried out in language that used to be used only in private. I do not really want to hear managers going off on employees while I am waiting for service. When I ask for help, I expect help, not a shrug followed by 'I don't know. It ain't my department." If people would think, they would realize that this is not the way to keep customers.

When I am at home, I am always surprised when my neighbors seem to think that I want to hear what they are watching on TV.  I do not expect silence, but when I can clearly hear every word on the show that they are watching, that is a bit too loud, especially at 2 AM. Even worse are neighbors who think that I might like to hear the latest foul mouthed, mysogenistic, illiterate rapper howling and grunting over a bass line that shakes the room. If these inconsiderate folks would just think a moment, they would realize how inconsiderate they are.

Or maybe not. Maybe we have at last descended into a period where the motto is 'I'll do what I want and to hell with everyone else.' That is a possibility. In an era when instant gratification is the goal, maybe people think that they should never have to consider their neighbors.

I see it in traffic, where people seem to think that silly things like right-of-way and turn signals are optional. I see it in restaurants. I used to work in one, not too long ago, and was constantly amazed at how people behaved. Kids were bad enough and I expected them to act up a bit, but, to be honest, the so-called adults were worse.

People have grown so self-centered that they seem to feel that their families and friends cannot function without them for even a few minutes. I am still occassionally surprised to see someone walking down the street, going in and out of businesses, talking, seemingly to themselves. Then I realize that they are using their bluetooth to talk. They cannot be out of touch for one instant. They cannot wait until they get to a quiet space and make a proper phone call. Again, I do not want to hear their personal business. The only plus I can find in texting is that at least we do not have to hear their babbling.

On the other hand, texting is rapidly becoming just as annoying. There are people who will not stop texting long eneough to have a conversation with the people they are with. In the middle of business transactions, requiring a bit of attention, it is not at all unusual to see them fingers flying and them not paying the least bit of attention to what they are doing.  Take my word for it people, others can get by without your constant attention.

All of us have our moments when we lapse into bad manners but we, as a society have moved way past lapses. Bad, self-centered, rudeness is very close to becoming the standard form of interaction in America and, if that trend continues, we are doomed.

The solution? Businesses have to set rules of behavior for their staff and allow no exceptions. There are lots of folks looking for jobs and you should remind your employees that they can and will be replaced, quickly.

Parents, look at your own behavior. What sort of example are you setting? Then, when you have a grip on your own behavior, set rules for your kids and enforce them. They will be furious with you but they need parents not buddies and they will get over it.

It may seem that I am being stuffy, but, trust me, if you knew me you would realize how far that is from the truth. I am however, fed up with rude, inconsiderate behavior.

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