America and the Election, The Laughs Just Keep Coming

I loathe politics but I have to say that this years campains have become a hoot. I have not laughed so hard since the last time I watched the 3 Stooges. Now, instead of Moe, Larry and Curly, we have Donald, Ted, and Marco.

The Donald is amazing, a true phenomenon. He is profane, professes ignorance of many key issues, and has no real plans, except for building that now infamous wall. He insists that Mexico will pay for it, despite some fairly explicit and colorful rejections of that plan by Mexico. He has now started ranting about restoring torture to the battlefields, which will be fascinating since Military leaders are saying that they simply will reject his orders as illegal. He is basically saying that when President he will do just what he wants. Funny, we have a President now that is doing just that and folks do not like that, yet, they continue to support Trump. His basic point seems to be that he will win because he is winning. I am sure any student of logic will find fault with that line of thought but, it is working.

Then we have 'honest Ted Cruz,' who increasingly reminds me of an especially sleazy used car salesman. He has been caught in lie after lie and still has the gall to stand up at podiums telling us what a devout Christian he is. He summons up fake humility, which must be hard for an Ivy League lawyer who's wife is a Goldman Sachs employee. Remember those nice folks? You know, one of the good American businesses who brought us the banking scandle, the housing bubble collapse and the Great Recession we still haven't really climbed out of.

Then we have Marco. I believe I have finally seen politics hit rock bottm, at least I don't think it can sink lower. Marco is now attacking Trump's tan, saying it comes from a spray can. Maybe, maybe not, but what in the name of all that is holy, does that have to do with being President. Then to make things weirder, he starts saying that Trump has small hands, adding 'and you know what that means,' a schoolyardish reference to the thought that small hands on a man means a small penis. On second thought, maybe he just hit the nail on the head, so to speak. All of this lunacy is an attempt by silly grown men to see who is The Man. So, let's eliminate the whole stupid campaign and all the ridiculous speeches and have them all gather on one stage, on Nationwide TV, and drop their pants. The guy with the biggest one wins. Good idea, Marco, best one you've had. That has the added bonus of putting Hillary out of the race.

Then we have the Democrats. Bye-bye, Bernie.  You see, Bernie was banking on young, white voters and they came in droves to his Campaign Rallies. However, they seemed to confuse Campaign Rallies with Pep Rallies and never seemed to understand that, after the party, they had to go to the yucky old polls, stand in line, and actually vote. You built your house on sand, so, by Bernie.

That brings us to Hillary, aka the Wicked Witch of the West. Hillary seems a shoo in to take the big prize, the White House. In fact, she is so sure that, like Pavlov's dogs when they heard the dinner bell, she seems about to salivate at the mere mention of the word, President. Actually, she has stopped givinng speeches, and has started almost growling them, I truly would be little surprised if, while campaigning under a full moon, she morphed into a werewolf, which would be really cool. I am quite sure that if she thought that might gain her votes, she would arrange it. Ah well, at least I can be amused at the thought of Slick Willie having to function as the First Lady, or First Man, or First Whatever, what does it really matter anymore?

This parade of idiocy at long last has a scattering of Democrats and Republicans mutterring about a 3rd Party ticket, to which I say, 'what the hell are you waiting for?' In the country, they have an old saying, 'root, hog, or die.' Well, if you folks are serious about this election, or any other damn thing in this Country, then you best get to it, or just shut up, crawl into your little holes and admit that every one of you are as spineless as a sponge. By the way, I am writing  in SpongeBob Squarepants on my ballot and I urge you to do the same. Our slogan can be, 'We've tried humans, and they've failed miserably, so why not an invertebrate?'